Need Help With a Seller that is Scaring Me
I purchased a set of pewter candlesticks and checked with seller B4 hand to make certain there was no damage as it looked like one tray may have been bent. I also wanted to make certain they sat flat and did not wobble.
Seller said they had NO DAMAGE, in fact he told me this twice.
After purchasing I advised him that pewter was a soft metal and to package carefully, to which he agreed.
He was suppose to send out the Wed. before New Year's but never did and never answered my emails re the shipment. I did leave negative feedback and, since items were not sent wanted a refund as I was getting no communication, no tracking number, nothing.
Upon receiving items I find the tray on one to be very bent and wavy and the other to have nicks and dings all around it and they don't sit flat at all but wobble considerably.
I contacted the seller re the problem who is calling me a bad person. I guess he goes by two names, one male and the other Aurora, whatever that means. Accuses me of trying to fraud him for $$.
Even scarier is that he is talking about suicide or previous suicide attempts, either him or his partner, that I didn't understand at all, it but scares me. I don't want anyone to do anything like that over a refund.
I want to open a NASD but this guy scares me. I am thinking that I should contact eBay support about this situation because of the things he is saying.
DOES ANYONE HAVE A NUMBER FOR EBAY SUPPORT???
twk
OP8 months agoYep. The seller is really scary and I will leave it at that.
He left a response to my feedback that is all **bleep**. I paid in a timely manner, he was suppose to send out days B4 New Years Eve. Smartly, he printed label and let them sit there for over a week until I got on his case about since he hadn't sent out to just refund me. That got them in the mail.
smilekc
·8 months agoI checked the seller's feedback. I wouldn't have bought from them in the first place, after reading the negatives they have received.
dabunk2000
·9 months agoIf people like that scare you it is best to go to a real store and avoid e scambay totally.
twk
OP9 months agoThe people I have sold to and bought from on eBay have basically been pretty nice. One gets the occasional idjit that puts a china plate in just aa paper bag and ships and then wonders why it broke in transit. Yep, I have had that happen.
This one is the first time I have ever been concerned about dealing with. Their emails, etc. and content did concern me. Not normal at all.
soh.maryl
·8 months agoYou now have two threads running about this issue. You've been given more than 40 replies. All you needed to do was open an item not as described case per the MBG.
Sorry you were apparently unaware of that.
snoopwiz
·9 months agoOn line buying is not for everyone. Expectations can and do vary.
Sometimes its as easy as seeing their feedback left for eBay sellers.
Just saying.
twk
OP9 months agoSnoopwiz - Interesting choice of names!
snoopwiz
·8 months agotwk
OP9 months agoI would love to be able to show you all what he has emailed to me, but that is against eBay policies. Trust me, it is quite concerning and scary.
ed8108
·9 months agoUnfortunately a refund doesn't change a unhappy buying experience into a happy one.
The End
twk
OP9 months agoYou are right. I have purchased lots on eBay but this is the first one that every sent me emails about suicide, being poor, etc.
Very, very disturbing. Then there is the trying to get me to remove the neg. feedback before he does anything, like refund me or whatever.
krazzykats
·9 months agoReport an issue with a seller on eBay
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christworks
·9 months agoLooks like you have figured out what to do. Stick to it. Don't engage, no matter what they message you.
Many people suffer from mental distress. I lived with PTSD for many years not knowing I even had it or what was wrong with me. People who have genuine serious thoughts along the lines do not attempt to manipulate, which is what your seller was doing. Doesn't mean they don't have a mental issue, but even if they do, that isn't your problem. No need to make it.
twk
OP9 months agoOne last thing. I put in for an Item Not As Described, added pictures and a description of the problems and sent it in.
The eBay message now is that Seller has three days to respond.
jonathanbrightlight
·9 months agoMake sure after that three days have passed that you go back to the case and choose the option to ask eBay to step in, if the seller has not responded to it by then. Don’t delay on that.
twk
OP9 months agoDon't worry, I will be right there when the deadline is done.
From his earlier rantings, he doesn't want the item back and wants me to take down the negative feedback and then he will refund me. What a seller (not).
twk
OP9 months agoI also figured that if this "guy" was doing this to me he was doing it to others. I mean the amount of unsolicited unwanted info this guy spewed in his message to me was overwhelming. Especially about the suicide stuff. Not normal.
I had no intention of waiting until Monday to open my case. But I got a message full of how he only had $10 to the end of the week and if he had the money he would just refund me right now. THAT I knew was bull.
The case is open. I am not accepting or reading any more from him. BUT he did contact me through the Contact Seller link on one of my items for sale stating that he would give me a full refund IF I removed the negative I left him. I am not bothering to even answer that.
As I said, I was just shocked and scared to see all that was spewed my way. Guess the world is changing and not for the best IMHO.
simba6
·9 months agoWait one day past the last given delivery date. If they have not arrived, click the I did not receive it button and file a case. It's how you handle that. No support calls are needed nor are they equipped to handle suicide cases anyway. Col. Mustard did it in the dining room with a candle stick........
twk
OP9 months agoSimba - once he did mail it out, the receive by date changed. You guys are correct, this is a manipulator. As I said, I was shocked by the suicide stuff, I mean calling me a bad person etc., well that is just typical stuff you can get from a few sellers. Most sellers, including me are above that kind of stuff.
As for him being poor - he poorly wrapped the pieces in remains of a Whole Foods paper bag, not an inexpensive place to shop.
Even with the years under my belt I have never, ever had someone start talking about the stuff he did.
soh.maryl
·9 months agoIn the original listing, the prospective buyer sees the estimated delivery date. That IS the EDD and cannot change.
soh.maryl
·9 months agoPlease review the original message. They have been delivered. They are NAD. OP needs to cease communication with the seller. End of story.
twk
OP9 months agoI have stopped communication with seller, did that after the suicide, threats, etc. He has tried to contact me through the contact seller feature on one of the items I have for sale. He is trying to hassle me into taking my neg. feedback down (yeah, I read it out of curiosity but that is the last time).
I have also reported this seller to eBay for threatening and harassing me.
soh.maryl
·9 months agoThe OP's issue is not that he hasn't received the item. He HAS received it and it's not as described.
tinsoldierunderground
·9 months ago@twk
You need to STOP all communication with the seller - you never needed to do that in the first place.
You don't need to ask the seller for permission in an INAD case, especially in a bizarre situation like this.
As someone who has lost a number of people to suicide (more than I can count on the fingers of one hand), my experience has been that the ones who threaten that, or talk about it often, are rarely the ones that go through with it. For me it's always been the phone call out of the blue stating that someone decided to leave this world.
I wouldn't trouble yourself over this, it's just as @roccotacodad54 states - not your problem or responsibility.
twk
OP9 months agoI only contacted him originally after I received the item because when I went to the Return Item it put me in to message the seller about the problem. I would have rather just filed the claim.
eoma689485
·9 months agoThe majority of people navigate stress, disappointment, or conflict without mentioning self‑harm or dramatic emotional distress. That kind of response is not typical in a simple buyer–seller disagreement.
Sounds more like Emotional Manipulation than anything else.- Using dramatic or extreme statements to shift blame, avoid responsibility, or make the other person feel guilty.
twk
OP9 months agoI got scared and concerned. I only posted because I have never run into anything like this before, talk of suicide because I contacted him about a return. I'm a senior lady that doesn't want anyone to hurt themselves.
Anyway, I did just open the return and will let it go. It is in Davi/Aurora's ballpark now. And I want to know NOTHING about them.
twk
OP9 months agoThanks for advice. NASD use to be the term for Not as Seller Described.
I knew there was something wrong when this seller e-mailed me after I left the neg and another e-mail about wanting my money back since he had not sent it. He started off:
"I am Davi and I am also Aurora" and about other things that were not pertinent. Didn't make sense.
Then, after I contacted him about the damage after receiving it, starts about how terrible I am, he, or his partner suicide attempt(s) and other strange stuff.
It just shook me up. Then he starts telling me what a real good person he is and I should trust him. Heck, I don't know him.
roccotacodad54
·9 months ago"I am Davi and I am also Aurora"
Yes. It sounds as if 1/2 of they/them-he/her is reasonable and the other isn't.
Probably best to not try and figure them out and just do what's best for you.
In my experience it's best to not know what's behind a strangers eyes sometimes................
moderncoins999
·9 months agoYou're not the only one I, had A nut case order A coin for $2 When I, looked at the purchase He went & left negative feedback then said I'll, change it when he received the coin I, GAVE him A refund then he started messaging me with FU your this your that for 10 messages in 30 minutes I, got **bleep** I, looked he had his phone # I, called him &;said now say what you want Do you always talk to people like that HE went off on the phone EXCEPT he stopped because I, said I'll, call back if you don't stop the messages I, had to take the negative feedback for A year He stopped with the phone call Even eBay seen the messages & would not respond This guy was screaming at me, on the phone I, only had 2 negative feedback in 14 years, IF he or they have A phone # call them DONT take the BULL ANOTHER PERSON said did not receive ideam I, called their post office talked to the mail woman who said she DILVERED it
roccotacodad54
·9 months agoYou are not responsible for the sellers state of mind (or lack thereof) or financial situation.
If a simple refund is going to push them over the edge then they are already headed there regardless of what actions you take.
Just file a return "Item Didn't Match Description" or "Damaged" and get your money back.
It's possible the person may be trying to string you along past the time frame to file for a return/refund. Quit communications and get your money back.
What is eBay support supposed to do, go to their house and "talk them down"?
twk
OP9 months agoRoccotacodad54 - Guess I never thought about that - 😀. It just scares me to hear someone start talking about suicide and telling me how bad I am.
I will say, in the communication I had after I told him the item was NASD, he really seemed to be, well, different. I have been on eBay since 1998 and I have never had someone start telling me about suicide etc. It is unsettling.
mamacassidy
·9 months agoI agree with what the other poster said. But there is no need to wait until Monday. Open a refund today and do not communicate with this seller again.
I don't know if their mental problems are real or if this is some way of trying to guilt you into something, but whatever it is, ebay is not the place for it.
twk
OP9 months agoThanks, I will do that.
He just contacted me and said he would do a refund BUT not to put anything in until after next Monday. I don't know.
I think I am just going to open the case and let eBay handle it so I don't have to communicate with him.
soh.maryl
·9 months ago"I think I am just going to open the case and let eBay handle it so I don't have to communicate with him."
Wise decision. I only wish you had decided on this course of action in the beginning.
12345jamesstamps
·9 months ago'he said he would do a refund BUT not....When you the buyer puts in for a refund claim...there is an immediate hold on seller's funds of that amount...he might have available funds going through and wants that money before you opening a claim.
Or seller doesn't have the funds to give a refund immediately and doesn't want a negative balance in his bank account.
Seller gets 3 days...to balance the refund with processing funds and available funds...and then refund comes out of his bank account if he hasn't sold anything.
You can escalate your refund after an open claim in so many days so I don't think the Monday thing is warranted for waiting for a refund.
stainlessenginecovers
·9 months agoThere is nothing that ebay support will/can do for you.
This is an automated site so you simply have to open a 'return for refund' case and you can use 'not as described' as a reason, which will force the seller to give you a return label (they pay for it as well).
Keep track of the tracking for return
Once tracking shows delivered, seller has 48 hrs to refund you.
If they don't; return to the 'case' and click the 'escalate to ebay'.
twk
OP9 months agoOh, he did send them out the day I left the negative and sent me a nasty email. Prior to that they were just sitting with him, no tracking number, never made it to USPO, nothing.
When they came they were poorly wrapped. He just wrapped them up in an old Whole Food bag and put them in a box. I could feel movement, definite movement, when I received the package yesterday.
As I say, this seller scares me. Will he do something if I do put in a NASD? Talks about not having money and then going out to buy more items to sell? Doesn't make sense.
grand-and-glorious-purpose
·9 months agoWhy?
What is NASD?
Just open a return for not as described and block them.
gosimus
·9 months agoI think she meant SNAD.
twk
OP9 months agoYes, that is what I meant. As I said, I be old and proud of it.
tinsoldierunderground
·9 months agoYou'll find most of us on these forum pages are of social security and medicare age.
The youngsters like to say 'age is just a number' - well, it becomes a pretty significant number when you're in the 4th quarter of life.
twk
OP9 months agotinsoldier - Great to hear. When we make it this far we should be proud. I am. I intend to keep going and be a burden on the Social Security I paid for.
soh.maryl
·9 months agoSome of the things you did to fix this issue make it seem like you're unaware of eBay's Money Back Guarantee for buyers.
You don't need to contact anyone in this situation. You just open the NAD case and go from there.
It's a little surprising to me that you did not know about the MBG and don't seem to have used it.
twk
OP9 months agoI am aware of it, but to return I had to contact seller first and that is when things got weird.
soh.maryl
·9 months agoHere's how eBay's MBG should work: You open a case. Seller sends prepaid return label if he wants it back. You wrap it up and ship it. You are issued a refund when it's received.
Why did you think you had to contact the seller first, the insurance thing? If the seller wanted it insured, he should have covered that.
I still don't get it.