Debating giving negative feedback; thoughts?
Summary: bizathome shared their experience with an eBay transaction where they received an incomplete item from a long-term seller and considered leaving negative feedback. Despite initial resistance from the seller, a full refund was eventually issued, prompting bizathome to seek advice about leaving feedback. Participants discussed the nuances of eBay's feedback system and shared opinions on leaving negative, neutral, or no feedback. Some suggested that a neutral comment might still warn future buyers, while others highlighted potential drawbacks of negative feedback, like possible retaliation. The conversation also included practical advice on handling similar situations and eBay's refund policies.
HI all. I've been a seller and buyer on eBay for around 25 years. There's only been one time in all of that I can remember leaving someone negative feedback, so I'm not one to quickly jump to that. I do feel like negative feedback can be important though, if it helps warn other buyers to beware, and also helps remind the seller what "not" to do. I want to lay out the situation of a recent item I bought, and get your thoughts on how I should proceed, and if leaving negative feedback is warranted.
I bought a pack of "Skater Trainers" a week ago. The auction said they were new, the seller had been around for almost 20 years, so I felt pretty comfortable buying them. When I received the them, the package only had 2 (there should be 4 total). Here's how our conversation went down:
Me: Hi, I received these today, but upon opening found that there's only 2 Skater Trainers (instead of 4). Let me know what's the best way to handle this. Thanks!
Them: [ First message is just a screenshot of the listing, saying they don't accept returns] Followed by the following message: I sold you an unopened package. There's nothing in the ad or on the bag about four.
Me: Hello again, a couple of things to note:
- I see you highlighted the "No Return" part of the listing; which I get and knew beforehand; but if an item doesn't arrive as listed, that doesn't really apply. I'm not saying I simply don't like the item, it's that it's missing half of the pieces
- You said there's nothing in in the ad or on the bag about "four"; I'm including a screenshot of your original listing that shows that it should be 4 [the photo of the bag of skater trainers clearly shows it should contain 4]
- I know it's listed as "New", but I did notice that it's not actually "sealed", but is just like a ziplock, so it can be opened and reclosed; this could actually be how they come from the factory/store, but I just wanted to point it out as depending on where you got these, someone could have easily opened them and removed the other two, and closed it back up
- I'm including photos of how the outside packaging came, to verify if that's how it was packed, to help rule out someone at the post office messing with it or something
- I noticed in the listing itself, you mention it's a set of black ones, but the two I got our red; I don't have an issue with the color being different, but wanted to make sure you didn't just send the wrong pack, and that's how I ended up with only 2
Them: I'm looking at the listing right here and it doesn't say anything about four. It doesn't say anything on the back about what they're being for either. The bag I shipped to you was unopened just like in the photo. If you think it was damaged and shipping you can file a claim with the post office. Have a nice day.
I could tell I wasn't getting anywhere via messages, so I did a return claim, mentioning that 2 of the 4 pieces are missing. This is his reply to that: The listing didn't say it was 4 of them. I sold them a new item. There's no way for me to know if the buyer is telling the truth. He included an offer of a partial refund of $8. I denied that. He then did a full refund, with this message: you're getting to keep the item and getting a full refund so I expect positive feedback since I'm losing money on this.
bizathome
OP3 weeks agoThanks for all the feedback. In my post I tried to just stick with the facts, and include all of the messages exchanged word for word with the goal of it not just being one side of the story. I did want to share some of my personal feelings about the situation now:
The things that upset me the most about this exchange was honestly not the missing items, but the following
Their first response to me was just a screenshot, showing they don't take returns
Them saying "There's nothing in the ad or on the bag about four." when it clearly says 4 on the bag
After me sending them a screenshot of the bag with the "4" highlighted in red, they again said "I'm looking at the listing right here and it doesn't say anything about four.
Them saying "If you think it was damaged and shipping you can file a claim with the post office. Have a nice day."
When I then decided to just start an official return, them saying a 3rd time "The listing didn't say it was 4 of them.
Them also repeating the line "I sold them a new item."; after I had explained to them that it wasn't a "sealed" bag, but was a resealable bag (I don't think they realized this/maybe still realized that).
The closing line of "I expect positive feedback since I'm losing money on this."
All that being said, I honestly don't think they purposely tried to scam me. My best guess is when they initially got the item, they didn't notice that it's a resealable package, so they didn't think to verify all the contents were there. Some people also might have been upset that in the description it mentions that it's a set of black ones (when the ones I got were red), but that part didn't bother me. I did want to make the point though, that with the way these skater trainers work, 2 won't be useful to me at all, so I'm just ending up having to order a new set from somewhere; they didn't do me a favor in letting me keep them, they just saved themselves from having to pay return shipping. The communication was just really bad and combative. I don't know what this person has experienced with other buyers before or life in general, but how they communicated was uncalled for. Sense all of this has happened I checked their feedback, and they have only 2 negative ones; one of them states this: Do not buy this from this seller! I got the item pretty fast and it was new, however the item is proberbly a few years old and contained batteries that had corroded and ruined the electronics in the arrow. Not the sellers fault, and he could not have known, so I reached out to reach a compromise. When I wrote about it, he attacked me, accused me of trying to scam him, reported me for harassing him and refused a civil conversation about a defect product. He was extremely rude from the beginning. Do not buy this from this seller! I got the item pretty fast and it was new, however the item is proberbly a few years old and contained batteries that had corroded and ruined the electronics in the arrow. Not the sellers fault, and he could not have known, so I reached out to reach a compromise. When I wrote about it, he attacked me, accused me of trying to scam him, reported me for harassing him and refused a civil conversation about a defect product. He was extremely rude from the beginning. The sellers response to this was "Do not sell to this buyer! It plainly says on my page there are no refunds or returns! For some reason he doesn't think the rules apply to him and he kept badgering me to give him a refund and let him keep the item. He threatened to give me negative feedback if I didn't. He even told me he only needed the headband. He still got a refund & to keep the item for free and yet still gave me negative feedback! Bad eBayer! I feel like there's a pattern here, and that's not great, which made me lean toward leaving negative feedback. All that being said, after thinking this over more, and seeing the suggestions in this post, I'm going to leave neutral feedback (which I'm sure they will still have a fit about).
tobaccocardyahoo
·3 weeks agoI do not leave FB for sellers, any seller, good or bad. It is not a reliable system for any purpose and I will not participate.
I use Ebay's mechanisms for not as described items. It is the only way to deal with habitual offenders, and the damage done to most sellers by a claim associated with one error can be sustained by sellers who deal with their error before Ebay steps in.
Since I do not order from international sellers, the stricter BBE never applies. Opening an INAD is not any worse for a US than the result of your exchange with this seller, so long as they are not a habitual offender.
nyr134
·3 weeks agoYou also sell items. If you leave negative feedback, this seller just may engage in a transaction with you in order to leave revenge feedback.
It has happened.
kathiec
·3 weeks agoAnd this is the reason savvy sellers have separate buying and selling IDs.
bizathome
OP3 weeks agoHadn't ever thought about this; good tip!
bonanza125
·3 weeks ago · EditedThe seller issued you a full refund. I would say just let it go. Don't give any feedback. Yes I understand this transaction didn't go as planned but sometimes it's better off not to issue feedback if a full refund was issued. Please also note that if you did decide to leave bad feedback the seller can appeal it and can get removed due to the refund being issued.
soh.maryl
·3 weeks agoSo if the OP decides to leave no FB for that seller, eBay may give an auto positive?
bonanza125
·3 weeks agoThere was an issue so seller is not eligible for automated feedback in this situation
gosimus
·3 weeks ago@bizathome
< seller is not eligible for automated feedback >
That's the way it's supposed to work, but you-know-what happens. Anyway, if eBay does happen to give the automatic positive, the buyer can override it with a manual feedback of her/his own. At least that's the way it's supposed to work.
roccotacodad54
·Aug 16, 2026 at 9:48 PMI was leaning towards neutral until I read "you can file a claim with the post office".
Right there it takes it into negative territory, at least for me and I'm not prone to leaving negatives.
Trying to shift the responsibility onto me would be what crossed the line for me at least.............................
dbmm-media
·Aug 16, 2026 at 9:09 PMI do not like to leave negative feedback. If a neg is truly deserved, I will neg.
This instance I would leave a neutral.
soh.maryl
·Aug 16, 2026 at 9:18 PMYou don't feel that a neg is "truly deserved" in this case? Wow!
dbmm-media
·Aug 16, 2026 at 9:28 PMclose to getting a neg. but but he did refund. so a neutral with comments as why a neutral.
grann-4629
·Aug 16, 2026 at 10:22 PMAs usual, we're only getting one side of the story. At any rate, the buyer got a refund and 2 free trainers ... I would leave no feedback just in case the buyer erred in thinking there was 4 items in the package.
kathiec
·Aug 16, 2026 at 10:46 PMThe problem with no feedback is eBay's pesky automatic feedback, leaving the indication all was hunky dory with the transaction. Since eBay started that I would sadly be much more prone to leaving neutral feedback should the occasion arise.
kathiec
·Aug 16, 2026 at 7:29 PMPersonally I reserve negative feedback for those times the seller refuses to make things right and I'm forced to have eBay step in. I agree that the seller has a lot to learn about customer service. But since they did finally refund, I would probably lean toward a neutral. The few buyers who are savvy enough to check negs before buying usually check neutrals as well. So the educational part of the feedback would still be there without the percentage ding to the feedback score.
All that said, I absolutely would understand if you decide to go the neg route, because the seller's communications were truly obnoxious.
grann-4629
·Aug 16, 2026 at 10:26 PMHey @kathiec ... I think this might be one of those few times I agree with you! Great post.
vulcannomad1170
·Aug 16, 2026 at 6:10 PMthrough my experience, regardless if the Seller states, No returns. Ebay steps and has the buyer covered. After a certain amount of time, ebay issues you a return label. (just happened to me the other day). Once the return label is delivered, confirmed by the post office or whoever is shipping. They will issue you a refund. Ebay will deal with the seller separately. Happened to me several times.
soh.maryl
·Aug 16, 2026 at 9:25 PM"After a certain amount of time"? This isn't automatic. The buyer has to open an item not as described case and give the seller 3 days to respond. "Once the return label is delivered"? No, the buyer has to use the prepaid return label to return the item and buyer is refunded after the seller receives the return. If the return label is not forthcoming, buyer returns to the case and asks eBay to step in, which they will do and they will refund the buyer from the seller's funds. Your response might be a little confusing to a buyer who's never had to deal with an NAD before.
kathiec
·Aug 16, 2026 at 10:43 PMAnd, of course, all of this is moot here since the OP has already been refunded.