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Return for replacement policy

Received an item that was not the one shown on the offer to sell.  Item was defective.  Contacted seller, who has a no return policy, with my problem, including photos of the defect.  Seller offered to refund or replace item.  I accepted the replace option, since I collect the item as a hobby, and really wanted it.  I offered to pay for returning the item, as well as reimbursing seller for shipping replacement, but only after I received the replacement item and was satisfied.  Seller countered that he would ship the replacement only after I provide proof of shipment back to him of the defective item.  QUESTION:  If I ship the defective unit (at my expense, as I offered), and he does not send the replacement, I'm out the original cost of the item, plus shipping two ways.  He does not offer hassle free returns.  How can I guarantee I will get the replacement once I ship the defect back to him?  To honor my inital reply, I will end up paying shipping three times: 1) initial delivery of defective unit, 2) shipping defective unit back, 3) paying for him shipping replacement to me.  As you can tell, I am new to Ebay and the rules are complicated.  I do not sell, so do not understand all the hoopla involved.  I have read all the Ebay help and FAQ but it's over my head.  I just want this to go as smoothly as possible without getting burned.

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