What would be the next step when a buyer refuses to pay for a item, it hasn't been 4 days yet but she let me know she insn't going to pay for it!
You can send her a formal Request to Cancel Transaction at any time after listing end. Otherwise, you wait 4 full days to open an Unpaid Item Dispute.
Both options are in the eBay Resolution Center.
Never let a deadbeat off the hook unless they wrote to you and have a good reason. File an unpaid alert on the 4th day, 1 minute afterthe auction ended. If you try to file before, it won't work.
Give them an additional 4 days and if no payment, notify ebay and it will become an unpaid strike.
If you tell them to cancel, they can cancel and give you a neg. They can also refuse to cancel and give you a neg. and you are stuck with the final value fees. So why take a chance on a negative and the greedy pigs at Ebay making money on a transaction that you did not get paid for?